I wrote a poem today about someone I care for and I had a lot more emotions to get out, so I painted and sketched based on the poem too.
Please don’t leave.
Please, please don’t go.
What about two more minutes?
Can I? Can I just feel you
for a little while longer…
so I don’t have to feel
Anxiety, fear, they never get tired.
You challenged them anyways,
even at 4am when I’d wake mid sleep cycle,
You knew how to meet each fear head on,
and tried so hard
to rewire me.
Rewind my mind to a time when I did not have to doubt
if I was worth caring about,
you fought to reset parental controls
Be a rebel! You’d yell at me…
When that didn’t work, you sunk in the muddy banks
of late night conversations,
we talked pop culture and Disney movies,
you said you didn’t like the Little Mermaid, and I never told you
I used to sing “Part of your world” at the top of my lungs
when I was 7. It was my anthem—“bright young women
sick of swimming, ready to stand!” – I wanted a new world,
so I spent my life treading water.
I remember how I doused you in my current,
dragged you under and watched you struggle…
and you loved me like you didn’t need air
hey love, you don’t need to tread water –you can swim.
You can swim
you can swim
YOU CAN BE A MERMAID
every day, alternating loud and soft reassurance.
hey gorgeous- you can be a mermaid, don’t worry.
You can swim in that giant ocean of worry
you can breathe in the depths of doubt, and make magic
out of all that worry, plant flowers
in all that worry
like a lotus
I see it now,
you waded into the thick of all the bad stuff,
the stuff I don’t even want to write out,
in private, in my room, I told you things
I don’t like to admit to myself…I see it now-
how hard you tried to make me realize.
and now I am going to go be a “gorgeous princess mermaid lotus flower”
because rebels can have all the labels – who cares…
you were supposed to stay.