Ugly II

He posts pictures of you and him everywhere

changes his skype picture every day

 

he blocked me on facebook,

won’t pick up my phone calls,

so my only choice

is to watch the new pictures

smile at me

 

if I want to contact him

 

I only have two thoughts

  1. Here he is sheltering himself in a woman, again
  2. You don’t make him feel ugly

 

He refused to take pictures with me the first five years

we were a thing, ya know?

and every year I let myself go a little more

stopped writing, unless he could co-author

stopped drawing because he would judge it

stopped painting because I needed space for that

and he couldn’t mark that territory

 

what was mine was his and what was his was me

 

I refused to play any instrument or sing for him,

I didn’t want to be his muse

because he suffocated mine

 

but I still gave myself for 10 years

shaping myself around him

trying to be his world, and comfortable, and not pretty,

not something anyone would look twice at

 

what was mine was his and what was his was me

 

but you…. you have him taking pictures with you

smiling, and not caring how ugly he is

in comparison

 

so I can’t help comparing myself

to you

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